


Paradise

by mewgirl1995



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Yotsuba Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 04:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewgirl1995/pseuds/mewgirl1995
Summary: "What did you mean when you said 'Not in mine eyes alone is Paradise?' "Set during the Yotsuba Arc, Light and L work together to catch Kira. Fate shifts and the search for Kira changes into something much more significant.





	Paradise

"I swear to you I'm not wrong. You have to believe me. I'm not Kira! I must have been framed. That's the only explanation for this!" Desperation filled Light's voice and his eyes shone with a mixture of that same desperation and fear. It was an emotion that had not been there only a few minutes earlier. Only a little bit ago, Light seemed perfectly content with his confinement. Something changed. L narrowed his eyes at the screen, leaning closer and absentmindedly chewing on his thumb. What changed? As the detectives chattered in the background about why Light's behavior had become so strange, L contemplated the supernatural nature of the Kira case. He felt doubt creep into his mind. Perhaps Light had truly become innocent. Perhaps the whole nature of the Kira case had changed.

The thought that everything had changed burrowed deep into L's mind, filling him with dread that he was wrong. It followed him everywhere, keeping him up at night. He had rarely even let doubt cross his mind in other cases. Each one was simple. The facts never lied. Yet in the Kira case, everything he thought he knew could change easily, fluctuating from minute to minute. Was he wrong? Why else would Light's behavior change so suddenly? Yet, the killings had stopped. "I am not Kira! Zoom in on me if you want. Go ahead. Look in my eyes. You tell me, do these look like the eyes of someone who is lying?" Light's voice was full of anger. With a deep breath, L stood and began to walk out of the room. 

"Ryuzaki, where are you going?" Matsuda asked, turning to watch him leave with an alarmed look. 

"Ask Ms. Amane if she will tell us who Kira is." L offered no explanation and continued out. Matsuda and Aizawa exchanged confused looks before turning back to interrogate Misa once again.

Rubbing his thumb and forefinger together, L went over all the evidence in his head again. Light every piece of Kira's description. He was a student with a keen sense of justice. He was intelligent, completely capable of matching L's every move. He had access to police information. Of course, it was guaranteed that Amane was the second Kira. She publicly admitted how thankful she was to Kira and the tapes, while intelligent, were sloppy enough to prove her guilt. It all added up. Yet, the killings had continued despite both Amane and Light's imprisonment. L was certain that both of the suspects were the two Kiras. As L reached the cell, he paused, hand hovering over the door's handle. "I'm letting my worry get the best of me," He said softly. Despite his best instincts telling him to stop, L opened the cell door. He needed to speak to Light himself. He would be easier to read in person and might be willing to be more open. 

"Have you finally come to your senses and decided to release me?" Light asked. Ignoring his question, L walked inside and crouched before Light, staring into his eyes. "What are you doing?" 

"What you asked me to." 

Light scoffed and glanced away, clearly embarrassed under L's intense gaze. "Couldn't you have done it in the observation room?" As he looked back, L frowned. Gazing into someone's eyes certainly wasn't scientific, but Light looked innocent. His emotions were all laid bare in his gaze. L could see his anger, his fear, his frustration, everything. Before, L distinctly remembered admiring Light's ability to keep his expressions completely neutral, even his eyes did not betray him. 

" 'And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee. Now counterfeit to swoon, why, now fall down; or if thou canst not, oh, for shame, for shame, lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers.' " Light smiled a bit at the quote, though L could still see the irritation in his eyes. With a sigh, Light leaned back against the metal frame of the bed. L watched him, wondering how he would react, what he would say next.  

With a small smile, Light recited back, "Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee. Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains some scar of it. Lean upon a rush, the cicatrice and capable impressure thy palm some moment keeps. But now mine eyes, which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not. Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes that can do hurt.' "

Few people could quote Shakespeare from memory. Even fewer could finish an abstract quote from a very specific play, one which critics often spoke of as being of lesser quality than Shakespeare's other works. "There's a lot of emphasis on this idea that the eyes can communicate one's inner thoughts and motivations." L chewed on his thumb as he continued, " '"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.' "

"Are you mocking my earlier request?" Light asked, annoyance returning to his features. "Did you plan on reciting abstract quotes to me all night?" 

"No," L said. "I was just pointing out the relevancy of your request." He sighed and leaned closer to Light until their faces were barely inches apart. "Your eyes do seem to indicate your lack of guilt. There was a change during your imprisonment. I noticed it right away and so did the others to a certain extent. The probability that you are Kira has fallen quite a bit." 

"How much?" 

"Down to perhaps 10%?" 

Light groaned and pulled away, frustration evident as he flexed his wrists in the restraints. "That's up!" 

"Oh, is it?" 

"What more do I have to do to prove that I'm not Kira?" Light demanded. "Surely, I would be more helpful investigating than being locked up as a suspect!" At this suggestion, L perked up a bit, straightening his hunched over crouch. Light was right. He would be a useful investigator, he was earlier, before L locked him up under suspicion of being Kira. Light would be especially if he was no longer Kira and they had to find the new Kira. "You've realized it too, right? We're evenly matched. I've never met someone who I actually felt challenged by. Everyone else is so predictable." L watched intently as Light glanced away. Embarrassment crossed his features for a brief moment. "Besides, didn't you say I was your first friend? That you didn't want me to be Kira?" 

L couldn't say with certainty that he didn't want Light to be Kira. If Light was Kira, then he was actually challenged. The case was much more difficult. Yet, at the same time, if Light was not Kira there was the chance they could work together, put their combined strengths to good use. It was nice having someone to challenge L's suggestions and offer reasonable counter points. Most of L's time was spent shooting down ridiculous opinions. "Perhaps I don't want you to be Kira," L said. "But that doesn't change the evidence that you are." Light turned back about to speak when L continued, "I believe you Light. At least, at this moment you are not Kira." 

"At this moment?" Light asked. "What? Do you think Kira can shift from person to person?"

"Yes, you and Ms. Amane were almost certainly Kira and the second Kira, then you both suddenly became seemingly innocent," L said. He twirled a piece of hair around his finger. "I also deceived you. The Kira killings are still occurring." Light's eyes widened in genuine surprise. "That suggests to me that the mantle of Kira has shifted to someone new." 

"I'll clear my name L," Light said, leaning forward again. Passion shone in his eyes. "We can do it together." 

"Together?" 

It was a strange concept. L always worked alone. He had teams to help him of course, but he never considered any of them his equals. He considered them support, tools just like a database would be. Yet, he certainly did not consider Light a tool. The excitement over having an equal to work with him overwhelmed L. He stood and turned away, startling Light. It wasn't the time to have fantasies about working together. He needed to focus on the Kira case. L decided to walk away and take a while to decompress, think everything through more thoroughly. 

As L stepped through the doorway, Light softly said, " 'Not in mine eyes alone is Paradise." 

The cell door swung shut. 

As the Kira killings continued L decided he had waited long enough. He needed Light's help. While he wasn't entirely certain, he figured he could watch Misa and Light carefully enough to ensure the investigation team's safety. In the early morning of the following day, L pressed the speaker for Soichiro's cell. "Detective, I have decided to release Light and Ms. Amane." Sochiro perked up immediately as relief flooded his features. "However, Light is to remain with me at all times and Misa will have a member of the investigation team with her at all times. Matsuda will do." He shot an annoyed glance at Matsuda, who looked very excited. "We will move all our operations to a new headquarters I had built for us." 

"Thank you, L," Sochiro said quietly. "I promise you, we will catch the real Kira." L nodded, before standing and walked over to Watari. 

"As you requested," Watari said, handing L the pair of handcuffs. L examined them and nodded. 

"These will do."

When Light arrived at the new investigative headquarters, he was shocked at the sheer size of it. "I can't believe L has all the money to build this," Light said, walking into the lobby. His steps were a little uneven from being locked up for more than two weeks, though he still had plenty of strength. He felt much better after a shower and getting into fresh clean clothes. At L's request, both him and his father picked up some belongings, ready to live in the tower 24/7.

"It's huge!" Misa said, rushing forward with bright eyes. She clung to Light's arm and beamed up at him. "Matsuda said Misa Misa gets her own floor. Aren't you excited Light?" 

Forcing an awkward smile, Light choose not to respond. He glanced away, looking for L. Working with him again would be exciting. He looked forward to the challenges and felt determined to capture Kira. Hopefully, Misa wouldn't get in the way too much. A small smile crossed his face. He was pleased that L finally trusted him. It was obvious that they shared a connection, they understood each other better than most people. No one else could meet Light's expectations. The door opened and Light turned, pleased to see L on equal footing again. "Ryuzaki," He said, pulling his arm from Misa's grip. She made a quiet noise of displeasure and followed close behind him. "I look forward to-" He broke off as a cold metal handcuff was slapped onto his wrist. With a complete look of disbelief, Light's eyes flashed to L and back to his hand.

"This is just a safety precaution," L said, gesturing to the matching handcuff on his own wrist. "I'm sure that we-"

Light refused to give him a chance to finish. "You bastard! I thought you said that you believed me!" He stepped closer, furious at the new development. Since L hunched down, Light loomed over him, but L did not step backward. "Will you never be satisfied until you prove that I'm Kira?"

"I said that you were not Kira at the moment, but you may revert back at any time," L said with no clear emotion on his face. "So, for the time being, I must take this precaution." 

"I can't believe you!" Light considered punching him, but pulled back. He felt more hurt than anything else. "Why won't you trust me?" For a split second, L had a pained expression. He turned away, addressing the others in the room. Light ignored him, still too hurt to calm down.

"Shall we get to work?" L said and Light glared back at him. 

The pattern of deaths seemed similar to before. Criminals were dying each day and pro-Kira sentiment had once again appeared throughout the country. Light stared at the names on the computer before him, frustrated at the lack of a pattern. He glanced over at L, who instead of working, was staring at him. "What?" Light said, irritation present in his voice. L glanced away, saying nothing. "You're not going to say anything about how likely it is that I'm Kira or how I must have set this whole situation up?" 

"No." 

Frustrated, Light glanced over at L's own computer. The screen was blank. "You're not even working Ryuzaki." 

"I'm thinking." 

Light turned sharply to face L, meeting his gaze again. "Are you serious? We need to capture Kira and-"

"What did you mean when you said 'Not in mine eyes alone is Paradise?' " 

Light paused, breaking off. The intensity in L's eyes surprised him. "It was just another quote," He said, brushing the importance off. L scooched his chair closer, leaning in. "Ryuzaki?"

"It's been bothering me, why did you choose that particular quote?" L chewed on his thumb, staring intently at Light.

Unsure of how to answer, Light shrugged. "It was the first thing I thought of." 

"It was from Paradiso by Dante. Beatrice uttered those words." 

"I know that. Don't patronize me."

Something in L's look softened. "It's well known that Dante was in love with Beatrice. She was the main love interest in Paradiso as well." Light felt his face grow hot from embarrassment. "Why did you choose that particular quote?" 

"It just seemed relevant." 

"Why?" 

Light's heart pounded in his chest and he ripped his gaze away from L's, turning his back on him. The quote meant absolutely nothing. Light had just thought of it. He enjoyed Pardiso and it was an interesting quote. There was nothing behind it, at least consciously. Light realized L was still staring at him, expecting an answer. "To convince you that we should work as a team. With both of us, we could capture Kira and bring him to justice. Metaphorically speaking, we would see paradise; the end of this case." L did not say anything else. He turned away and began to work on his computer. Light glanced over at him and could see a faint smile on his face. 

"Alright then," L said, meeting Light's eyes again. " 'Not in mine eyes alone is Paradise.' " Light relaxed a little and smiled. 

Whatever Light had said had encouraged L to get back to work again. He seemed more determined than ever to find Kira. "Here's something strange," Light said, scrolling through the news. "Businessman have started dying." 

"I suppose that Kira may be beginning to go after people he sees as corrupt?" L said. "Perhaps we should check bankers as well? Anyone who has the potential to be rich and influential." Light nodded, glancing over at L, noting how much closer he had moved during the past hour. L stared intently at the computer screen, invisible gears clanking away in his head. For a moment, Light hoped that even after the Kira case they would be able to work together like that, side by side. Though as he shifted, the handcuffs clinked and Light shot an annoyed look at them. He would preferably like to work with L without the handcuffs. 

The tapping from L's keyboard filled L and Light's shared room. "It's one in the morning Ryuzaki, go to sleep," moaned Light. His voice was muffled as he laid down with his face shoved into the pillow. 

"In a little bit perhaps," L said, narrowing his eyes at the keyboard. The pattern of businessmen deaths had continued, yet they all seemed random. None of the CEOs seemed particularly corrupt. 

"That's a complete lie." Light rolled over and stood, walking over to the window, tugging slightly at the chain that linked him to L. "You're an insomniac." He pulled back the blinds, catching L's attention as his handcuff dug into his skin. He shifted over on the bed, so the chain wasn't as taut. "Maybe you could sleep if you didn't eat so much sugar."

"I would only be functional at 26% efficiency without sugar," L said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. To him, it was one of the simple truths of his world. Light chuckled. "What?" 

"You make up those statistics, don't you?" 

Somewhat annoyed, L turned to scold Light but paused. Standing near the window, Light leaned against the wall and stared out it. Moonlight lit up his features and the ghostly light made his hair appear like a mixture of silver and brown. L stilled for a moment and couldn't help but stare. It was obvious that Light was attractive. He fit many of the typical characteristics. His face was symmetrical, he dressed well and held himself with confidence. Yet, in that moment, he was more than just aesthetically pleasing. He looked vulnerable. He looked... "Beautiful," L said softly.

Light turned his head slightly, changing the way the light fell across his face. "What? Did you say something?" L's breath caught in his throat as he considered what he had just said. How had he let out such a vulnerable thought? He couldn't repeat it. "Ryuzaki?"

"Your name is written as moon, isn't it?"

With a small shrug, Light turned back to looking outside. "So?" 

L nearly finished his thought, but turned away. "I was merely making an observation." Light looked beautiful in the moonlight. "I meant nothing by it." How could he look so much more beautiful in slightly different lighting? "I can stop working now if it's bothering you that much." He peeked back at Light, who still stood at the window and who still looked beautiful. He cursed his thoughts. Light was Kira. There was no time to think about whether or not he was attractive. It did not matter. 

"I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep now," Light said with a sigh. He walked back over to the bed and sat down, eyes meeting L's. "Any more news about the Kira case?" 

"We should check to see if any company has benefited from the recent deaths," L said, setting his laptop aside. "But first, we should try to get some sleep." He turned his back on Light and laid down, curling into a tight ball. "Goodnight Light." The bed shifted as Light moved underneath the covers. He didn't respond. 

Once it was found that the Yotsuba Coporation's stock had increased significantly, they came under high suspicion. Light paced around the room, thinking aloud. "It must be a member of their board. He's killing off competitors with the Death Note, while also killing criminals to try and redirect suspicion." Pausing by the window, Light stared out, catching a reflection of L in the background. The detective was in the middle of eating a huge piece of cake. "Right Ryuzaki?" Light turned to face him. 

"It seems plausible," L said. "Though I wonder why he even bothers killing criminals? If anything, it makes the competitor's deaths more noticeable."

"To us it does," Light said with a shrug. He walked back over to the couch and sat down beside L, staring at his computer. "Now we just have to figure out which one of them is Kira." Beside him, L licked the last of the frosting off the fork. "I bet it's one of the Vice Presidents or maybe-" He broke off as L offered him a bite of the cake. 

"What?" L asked, confusion crossing his features. "Do you not want any?" 

It wasn't like Light didn't enjoy cake, but he was in the middle of talking and felt a little annoyed that L interrupted him. He stared at the fork, feeling his face grow hot. What was L up to? Was it some sort of trick? He tried to keep his expression neutral as he glanced away. "No." 

"Oh, alright." A tinge of disappointment seeped into L's voice. Light was surprised to hear it. When he looked back, the fork was still hovering near him. "Eating sweets together would increase our productivity by at least 5%." 

Light wondered if L was trying to make a peace offering. He shot another glance at him and then leaned over and quickly ate the bite of cake. His face burned as he pulled away and focused on his laptop again. "Satisfied?" Shooting a glance over at L, Light caught him smiling. It was almost a shy grin, like the detective just won some exciting prize. Without meaning to, Light found his gaze falling to L's smile, to his lips. Would they taste just as sweet as the treats L always ate?

Before L could say anything, the door swung open. "Light!" Misa rushed inside with a mournful look on her face. "It's been so long since I've seen you." She nearly tackled him in the rush to leap onto the couch. "Let's go on a date!" 

"Misa, I'm working!" Light didn't mean to snap, but he was beginning to get fed up with Misa's constant interruptions. 

"Oh I won't bother you!" Misa said. "Misa Misa can just sit here beside Light and we can cuddle!" Clutching hard at Light's arm, Misa grinned up at him and batted her eyes. "Please?" Before Light could protest, Misa leaned up and pressed a brisk kiss to his lips. It was sticky and tasted like Misa's sickly sweet chapstick. Light pulled away with an irritated sigh. 

"We can go on a date later," He said. "But right now I'm working." 

"Do you promise?" Misa asked, eyes wide in excitement. L glanced over at the pair of them, his expression unreadable. 

"But I need to finish working on the Kira case," Light continued. "After Kira is caught we can-"

Misa let out a cry of anguish. "But that's so long and what if you get killed? Misa Misa can't imagine a world without Light!"

"Yes, that would be quite dark," L muttered under his breath. He had begun to look mildly annoyed at Misa's presence. It surprised Light, since usually L seemed apathetic to the model. 

"Misa, leave." Light stood and gently pushed her toward the door where Matsuda was waiting. 

With a pout on her face, Misa strolled from the room. "See you later sweetheart!" She waved and disappeared with a quiet click of the door. With a frustrated sigh, Light fell back onto the couch, rubbing his forehead. 

After a few quiet moments, L said, "How long do you plan on continuing this ruse?" Light turned his head, glaring over at him. 

"What in the world are you talking about?" 

L didn't meet Light's gaze as he said, "You don't love her do you?" He ate another bite of the cake, licking the frosting from his lips. "Why even date her? Perhaps it was strategic planning back when you were Kira?" It was hard enough to deal with Misa, but Light had grown tired of dealing with L's constant accusations on top of it. He clenched his jaw and turned away. "Or are you dating her because your family expects you to have a perfect life with a wife and-"

"Would you stop it please?" 

To Light's surprise, L fell quiet. When he looked over at him, L was twirling a piece of his hair around his finger, absentmindedly staring off into space. For a moment, Light found himself wondering about the taste of L's lips again. Were they sticky like Misa's? L's eyes turned to stare directly at Light. "Should we get back to work?" 

Light wondered if the pounding in his chest was his imagination. "Yeah, we should."

The task force had made good progress in discovering the Yotsuba Group's weekly Kira meetings, especially once they tried to hire Eraldo Coil to find out L's real name. The suspects had been narrowed it down to eight people, still far too many to find a good suspect. L sighed and leaned back on the couch, while Light rubbed his eyes beside him. Neither of them had gotten much sleep as they poured over every detail of the Yotsuba case. "You can admit you're tired Light." 

"I'm not tired." 

"Between working on the Kira case and online classwork, I'm willing to bet that you are exhausted," L said. He grabbed one of the cookies that sat on a plate nearby and took a bite of it. "Besides myself, you are working the longest hours of anyone here." 

"I'm not tired."

L turned to stare at Light, whose eyes were drooping shut. He shook himself awake and brushed a stray hair back behind his ear. L wondered why Light worked so hard on the Kira case. It seemed as though he was working much, much harder than he had before his imprisonment. If they did catch Kira, that would clear Light's name. His hard work ethic must be due to his desire to return to being Kira without suspicion. Yet, Light surely knew that if the killings began again after they arrested the Yotsuba Kira, he would be the prime suspect. 

"You're staring at me." Light turned and met L's gaze. 

"I'm wondering what Kira's motives are for trying so hard to prove his innocence." 

Light clenched his jaw. It was subtle, but after spending months with him L began to see through the cracks in Light's façade. "I'm getting really sick of this Ryuzaki," Light said, glaring over at L. "Why won't you admit you are wrong?" 

"Perhaps I don't want to be wrong." 

"I can't believe you!"

With a sigh of frustration, Light slid away from L, making him realize how close they had been sitting before. The removal of close contact stun a bit. L stared at Light with a small frown. Frustration filled Light's eyes. When he looked back at L it was in anger. "Light," L began quietly. 

"Shut up." 

"I don't want you to be Kira." 

As L shifted closer to Light again, he felt as if his stomach twisted around. "Yes you do." Light wasn't looking at him. It seemed as though he was forcing himself not to meet L's gaze. 

"I don't." 

Hearing the vulnerability that slipped into L's voice, Light suddenly looked over. They were much closer than before, with L staring intently into Light's eyes. The anger he found there disappeared. "That almost sounded sincere," Light said with a quiet chuckle. 

"It is. I don't want you to be Kira." 

Light didn't say anything and turned back to his computer.

A few more hours passed as the pair worked in complete silence. As L clicked through the profiles of the eight members of the Yotsuba Group, he felt something fall against his shoulder. With a slight turn of his head, L saw that Light's head was leaning against his shoulder. "Light?" When there was no response, L almost panicked, but then Light shifted slightly. His eyes were closed. "Oh, you're asleep." L's earlier conclusions about Light's exhaustion were entirely true. He smirked a bit, pleased that he was correct. Though as he attempted to get back to work the pressure on his shoulder distracted him. "It's unlike you to be so vulnerable," L mused. He chewed on his thumb and glanced back at Light. His shoulder was quite bony, it couldn't have been comfortable. He shifted slightly, sitting up straight rather than in his normal position. His mouth felt dry as he shifted his shoulder and guided Light's head to his lap. 

When Light still did not stir, L smiled. "You are exhausted Light." L shot a glance back over at his computer, but found himself unable to work. He was distracted. His eyes flickered back to Light's still form. Was his hair soft? L raised his hand slightly and before deciding against it, slowly ran his fingers through Light's hair. It was soft. L smiled. He ran his hand further down, stopping at Light's shoulder. He gently massaged it, before trailing his hand down the rest of Light's arm. As he pulled his hand away Light shifted in his sleep, bring his hand up to rest next to his head. The chain clinked as he shifted, sending a spark of guilt through L. "Why did you have to be Kira?" L mused quietly. With a sigh, he rested his hand again on Light's shoulder, rubbing gentle circles there. "I must be wrong." For the first time in his life, L hoped he was wrong. 

A quiet knock sounded at the lounge's door. Watari stepped through the doorway. "Ryuzaki, do you need anything before I retire for the night?" His eyes flickered briefly to Light. L did not respond at first, smoothing down Light's hair again. He was entranced. "L?" 

"I'm alright. Thank you, Watari." 

With a small bow, Watari exited the room. It was silent in the room. L glanced outside, staring at the bustling city. When Light shifted in his lap, L's eyes snapped back to focus on him. It was such a quiet, serene moment. L had never been so close to anyone before in his life. Closing his eyes, he massaged Light's shoulder and arm again. In that moment, it was just the two of them. L felt a strange urge to stay like that forever. It could just be him and Light. They could poke fun at each other, play tennis and chess, and even solve cases if Light wanted to. All he wanted was for Light to be by his side. He needed him as his only true equal. 

Light shifted, breathing out quietly. A soft pressure pressed against L's hand and he felt Light's fingers between his. He opened his eyes to glance back down. Light's eyes were partially open and he held L's hand tight against his chest. He still looked half asleep. "L," He said quietly.

"Yes Light?" 

"I can't believe you're sitting like a normal human being." 

Amusement filled L as he grinned down at Light. "This is for your comfort, I hope you know. I don't particularly like it. It reduces my reasoning ability by-"

"40%," Light said. He closed his eyes again, squeezing L's hand gently. "How thoughtful of you." 

It was such a perfect moment. "I told you that you were tired." To his surprise, Light smiled rather than protesting. He closed his eyes again and didn't say anything else. L figured he had fallen back asleep. He could feel the rhythmic pounding of Light's heart. It showed just how human he was. L knew that he couldn't be Kira. After all, Kira was a monster.

"You're the only one who's ever seen through me," Light said softly. A warm feeling flushed through L. He felt both embarrassed and proud simultaneously. 

"I can say the same thing for you." L tilted his head a bit, staring down at Light and admiring how soft his features looked. "Would you like to rest in an actual bed?" 

"Let's stay here for a while." 

"If you want." 

With Misa's successful audition as a representative of the Yotsuba Corporation and her success in convincing Higuichi that she was the second Kira, the task force had everything they needed to defeat and capture Higuichi. Outside, the sky was grey. Light watched the window with a smile. It would be all over soon. He would finally be cleared of being Kira. He glanced back at L, who had a lollipop in his mouth as he worked. What would L do next? There would certainly be more cases to solve. He briefly wondered if L would allow him to come with. "Ryuzaki?" 

"Yes Light?" 

"What are you going to do after this is all over?" Light asked quietly. 

The tapping of keys stopped. L turned and faced Light. "Why do you ask?" 

"Because I want to go with you!" Light didn't mean to blurt it out like that. He felt his face grow hot. L looked genuinely surprised. He turned away and stared blankly at his computer. Why did he say that? What would L think of him? With a frustrated sigh, Light stood, sending his chair screeching backward. "I want to get some air." He walked away quickly, feeling the handcuff tighten around his wrist as L did not follow at first. 

Without saying anything, L stood and trailed behind Light. Together they walked up to the roof, where Light went over to the railing and leaned over it, feeling the wind blow through his hair. Ever since he fell asleep on L's shoulder, he felt so confused. With a small frown, he shook his head. His feelings had already begun to cloud his mind earlier than that. Everything had just gotten much worse. Even at night, Light found himself laying closer to L, even sharing the same pillow. He never felt such a desire to be close to another person. Even though he was supposed to be dating Misa, he never felt anything remotely close to what he felt for L. A raindrop hit the top of his head. 

"Light, it's beginning to rain." 

The drops were calming. Light sighed and closed his eyes, feeling the water pour over his face. He never wanted something so badly in his life. He had never met someone he could truly call his equal. Would he have to lose that once the Kira case ended? 

"We should go back inside." 

Light felt L's hand on his, gently tugging. He did not turn around. His face was filled with raw emotion and he knew L would see right through him. As L came to his side, he turned his face away. 

"Light?" 

L curled his fingers around Light's hand and after a moment of hesitation, Light twisted their fingers together. 

"Why do you want to come with me?" 

It was obvious that L would figure out why Light was trying so hard to keep his emotions hidden. 

"Have I done something to anger you?" 

"Of course not." 

The rain roared. By that moment, both Light and L were thoroughly soaked. "Why won't you look at me?" Hurt filled L's voice. Light felt a pain in his chest. He turned slightly and met L's gaze, whose eyes softened. "Oh." 

Light straightened up, dropping L's hand. "We should go inside." Again, as he walked off, L said nothing. 

The silence remained between them until they returned to the bedroom to retrieve towels. As Light dried his hair, he glanced over at L, who sat in the chair staring down at the towel in his hands. His hair dripped water onto his hands. Light couldn't see his expression. He turned, hearing the chain clink as he did so. Without saying anything, Light walked over and took the towel from L, gently drying his hair. As L looked up, his expression revealed vulnerability Light had never seen before. He braced his hands on the back of the chair and leaned forward to press his lips against L's. 

L's lips were not like Misa's. They were slightly chapped and they did have a faint taste of sweets. They were warm and comforting. As Light pulled away, he leaned his forehead against L's. The detective's eyes were still closed. "Light," L said softly. He opened his eyes again, smiling a bit. "I'm glad you feel the same way." 

Once both Light and L were dried off and about to go to bed, Light sat on the edge of the bed, staring out at the rainstorm. He felt L's arm wrap around him and L pressed his face into Light's back. "What is it Ryuzaki?" 

"L Lawliet." 

"What?" 

"My name," L said. His voice was shaking slightly. "My name is L Lawliet." Too shocked to say anything, Light remained silent. "Never leave my side Light Yagami." 

"I promise I won't, L."

The handcuff unlocked with a quiet click. Light watched in surprise as it fell from his wrist. He turned and watched L unlock the other cuff before tossing them aside. "There is no need for those anymore." Relieved, Light shifted completely and pulled L's face to his own, kissing him again. 

"I love you L Lawliet." 

The shinigami appeared in L's vision the second he touched the Death Note. Shock filled him as he met the creature's eyes. Shinigami were real. Kira had been using the Death Note to kill his victims, which meant there must be a second Death Note. Where was it? Who had it? "Listen human," The shinigami suddenly said, walking towards him with an outstretched finger. "Do not let Light Yagami touch that book!"

"L, let me see it!"

Something in the shinigami's warning frightened L to the core, he shoved Light back immediately, just in time to prevent Light's fingers from brushing the black cover of the book. Though he kicked him harder than he meant to, throwing him against the other seat. 

"What the hell? What was that for?" 

"Watari!" L shoved the Death Note back into Watari's hands. "Hold onto that." He turned to face Light, who was seething with anger. 

"You still think I'm Kira!" He said, voice growing loud with the accusation. "How could you?" Tears formed at Light's eyes, but he quickly brushed them away. "I thought you trusted me. I thought you lo-"

"The shinigami said to not let you touch it," L said. His heart felt heavy in his chest. He hadn't meant to hurt Light so badly. 

"So?" Light asked. "Why does that matter?" 

For a moment, L ignored Light and turned back to the shinigami, meeting the creature's intense gaze. "What will happen to Light if he touches the Death Note?" 

The shinigami glanced away as if it was considering its answer, then with a sigh it turned back and said, "He will regain his memories of being Kira." 

L felt cold. The whole world stopped around him. The commotion around him fell silent. All he could hear was a loud ringing. Everything seemed to grow dark and his chest felt tight, he couldn't breathe. He had been right all along. Light was Kira. However, Light did not remember being Kira. Did that mean that part of him had been erased?

"Ryuzaki?" The voice was faint. 

Light had been the world's worst serial killer. He had killed hundreds of thousands of people. How could L simply let that go? Surely, even if Light did not remember being Kira, L still had an obligation to arrest him. He had the mind of a serial killer. Though L knew he likely shared that same mindset. Either of them could have become a serial killer. 

"L!" Light grabbed L's shoulder, surprising him. As he turned around, he saw in Light's eyes that his horror was apparent. "What's wrong?" 

"I was right," L said quietly. "You were Kira." Light's expression of worry crumpled to one of fear and anger. "You must have planned this whole situation out. You knew that you could give away the Death Note and touch it again to regain your memories. I suppose the shinigami betrayed you then." 

"I'm not Kira," Light said, his voice cracking. "Surely, you know that?" 

"I did say 'were' didn't I?" L's voice softened. He gulped, trying to contain his own horror. Light pulled away, trembling. "Light." L reached out and took Light's hands in his own. 

"I'm sorry," Light whispered. "I'm so sorry." 

That night Light began to have nightmares. He writhed in his sleep, muttering nonsense under his breath. L smoothed back his hair, gently shaking him to wake him. When Light did wake up, his chest heaved and his was drenched in sweat. "It's alright." L said quietly, stroking Light's hair. 

Rather than saying anything, Light closed his eyes and turned his head away. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you." 

"I wasn't asleep." 

Light snorted. "Of course you weren't." He tried to hide his face with his arm, but L caught his hand and pulled it away. His eyes opened again and he looked up at L with a terrified look. L kissed his forehead before gently kissing him. 

"I love you Light." He rubbed Light's check, leaning his forehead against Light's. "You are not Kira. Not anymore and never again." While Light did not say anything, he nodded. L waited until he fell asleep again, before tip-toeing out of the room down to the lower meeting room. 

The shinigami, called Rem, stood in the room, watching L with a stern gaze. L unlocked the suitcase and pulled out the Death Note. He traced a hand over its cover. "I will not be able to answer all your questions." 

L ignored the shinigami for the moment. "There are two Death Notes," He mused aloud. "Light, no, Kira planned out that he would recover this one after we caught Higuichi. He would have all his memories back and then would have to obtain the second Death Note again." L stared down at the book. "The second Kira, Misa Amane." He watched the shinigami and she reacted slightly, glancing away. "But Amane still does not have her memories. While I released her from headquarters we have still been monitoring her closely." Watching Rem, L noticed she glanced away when L mentioned Amane. L tapped his fingers on the book before opening it. "There are rules?" 

"Yes. As shinigami, we are obligated to teach humans the basics of how to use the Death Note."

While all of the rules seemed reasonable enough for a magical killing book, two in particular caught L's attention. "These would prove Kira's innocence due to the confinement," He said quietly. "It would also prevent us from destroying the Death Notes." L raised his eyes to look at Rem. "What happens if someone gives up ownership of the Death Note?"

"They lose all memory of it."

"And they regain it when they touch the Death Note," L said, placing the Death Note back in the suitcase. "I have to find the second one." Rem did not respond. "Kira gave up ownership of the Death Note while imprisoned." L paced around the room as the pieces clicked into place. "Amane must have given it up earlier in her imprisonment." He turned and stared at Rem. "You are not Kira's shinigami are you? The only one who this plan fails to protect is Amane." For a moment, Rem looked surprised. "Where is the other Death Note, Rem?" 

"I cannot tell you, nor can I lead you to it." 

Frustrated, L shifted in the chair. "Why?"

"I am linked to Higuichi as long as he alive." 

It was a good thing they decided to imprison Higuichi in the headquarters. Light sighed, chewing on his thumb. A dark thought crossed L's mind. "And if he is dead?"

Rem pointed to L. "If you hold the Death Note at the moment of his death, you would become the new owner." 

L chewed on his thumb, staring at the locked suitcase. With a heavy sigh, he shook his head. He couldn't kill Higuichi. He would find the other Death Note without resorting to murder. Where could Kira have hidden it? He spun the chair and called up Watari. "Yes, Ryuzaki what is it?" 

"I need teams searching all nearby parks and forests for a recently unearthed hole, something where a small box could be buried. Tell them they are to not touch what they find, but bring it straight to you. We are looking for the second Death Note." 

"Understood." 

L spun in his chair and faced Rem. She watched him with an intrigued look. "Was it risky to betray Kira?" L asked. 

Rem did not respond at first. "I did it to save Misa," She said after a long silence. "Light relied on my selfishness to see Misa again for this plan to work. I choose to instead leave her safety in your hands, regardless of how dangerous that plan was." Rem shifted and looked away. "All I had to do was prevent Light from touching the Death Note again and Misa would be safe." Her eyes flickered back to L. "After all, if you arrested Misa, you would have to arrest Light as well." 

"So? Why do you still think I won't?" L said. 

"Because you are in love with him." 

"And you are in love with Amane." 

Rem did not reply. She turned away to leave. 

"You bet everything on the hope that I would fall in love with Light?" L asked. 

Rem stopped. The room was quiet except for the ticking of a clock on the wall. "I have learned that love is powerful," Rem said quietly. "I had no other choice than to rely on it. Otherwise, I would have died." She tiled her head slightly. "Though I likely still will." As she looked back at L, her eyes grew cold. "However, your life has been spared L Lawliet." With that said, the shinigami disappeared. 

L was barely talking to anyone. He was focused on something else entirely. "We should be celebrating!" Matsuda exclaimed, but L ignored him as he stared at the Death Note, flipping through its pages and tracing his fingers over the names. "We caught Kira!" 

"It's not over yet. We need to worry about the thirteen-day rule."

"Oh yeah, I guess there's still that." 

Light sighed and looked away from the rest of the task force. Everyone besides him was permitted to touch the Death Note. He knew the shinigami had no reason to lie, but Light could still not believe he had been Kira. Even if he agreed with Kira's motives, he would never stoop as low to murder thousands of people, including the innocent FBI agents. A buzzing shook Light's pocket. He pulled out his phone to see Misa was calling again. For a moment he felt a bit guilty. He had avoided Misa ever since Light released her from the headquarters. He even hid on the roof so he didn't have to see her off. He needed to tell her the truth.

"Hello?" Light said as he stood and exited the room. 

"Light! Oh, Misa Misa's missed you so much! Let's hang out right away!" 

Light sighed. He needed to do it eventually. He might as well go speak to Misa while the rest of the task force was busy. "Fine, let's meet for lunch."

The squeals of delight from Misa made Light wince. They decided to meet at a café near the headquarters. When Light arrived, Misa rushed to him and tried to kiss him. Light immediately pulled back and gently pushed her away. "Light? What's wrong? Haven't you missed me?"

"Listen Misa," Light said. He took a deep breath and turned back. It would be best to do it quickly. "I can't keep dating you." 

Hurt filled Misa's eyes. "What?" 

"I'm-" Light broke off, wondering how to best phrase it. "Once the Kira investigation is wrapped up, I'm leaving Japan." 

"You're leaving?" Misa looked like she was on the verge of tears. 

"I'm going to go with Ryuzaki and investigate cases overseas, maybe I will be back from time to time but we cannot maintain a relationship like that." 

"I'll come with you then!" Misa clung to Light, desperation filling her eyes. 

"No, Misa." 

Light winced as she wailed in agony. "But Light, I love you more than anything! You're my only reason for living!" 

"Don't say that!" Light snapped. He was beginning to lose his composure. "Misa, you have a career here. You have fans and friends and plenty of reasons to live." Misa sniffed, casting her gaze downwards. "Look for someone else." 

"But-"

"I love someone else," Light said quickly. Misa's eyes widened in surprise. "I have for a while now." 

To Light's surprise, Misa became quiet. "Oh," She said, releasing Light. She stared down at the ground. "What's wrong with me?" Light tried hard not to groan in frustration. With a wavering smile, Misa looked back up at Light. "From now on, Misa Misa will work really hard to make Light love her." 

"Misa-"

Shaking her head, Misa smiled. "When you come back I swear I'll be someone you can love!" Light sighed in frustration as Misa turned and ran away. "I promise Light!"

"Good thing I plan on never coming back," Light muttered under his breath.

When Light returned to the headquarters L was waiting for him in the lobby, pacing back and forth. The worry in his expression melted away to relief. He walked over to Light asking, "Where have you been?" 

"Doing something unpleasant," Light replied with a wave of his hand. L's eyes widened slightly. He stared at Light with an intense, searching look. "What?" Knowing full well that L worried Light was doing something related to the second Death Note, Light sighed and looked away. "I was breaking up with Misa." 

L winced and turned to speak to the shinigami, "You seem upset. I thought you would be pleased." L looked back at Light with a curious look. "How did she take it?" 

"She insisted that when I returned to Japan she would be someone I could love," Light replied, walking past L towards the elevator. 

"Return to Japan?" 

Light's breath caught in his chest and he turned to face L, who watched him with an intrigued look. "I told you I wanted to go with you." He tried to keep his face as emotionless as possible as he said, "Have you changed your mind know that you know for sure I am Kira?" 

"You are not Kira!" 

Light's eyes widened in surprise at L's outburst. It seemed their roles had reversed. L rushed over to Light, pulling him into a tight hug. "L."

"This is almost over," L said softly. "Once I have my hands on the second Death Note we can destroy them both and prosecute Higuchi for being Kira." 

"You're going to just let Misa and I go?" 

L's grip tightened. "I don't intend to let you go. Remember, you are to stay by my side." 

A warm feeling filled Light as he laughed quietly. He lifted his arms and returned L's hug, nuzzling his face into the other man's hair. "Of course." 

"Without your memories, you cannot be Kira," L continued under his breath. "Our memories are what make up our identities. Therefore, Higuchi is the only Kira I am concerned about." Light nodded. Still, he wondered how he could have possibly forgotten everything about being Kira. 

The wonder about the Death Note and his previous memories kept Light awake even as L slept by his side. He looked over at the flickering clock. It was well past one in the morning. Light sighed and carefully got up from the bed, walking downstairs to the conference room. It was eerie in the dark of the early morning. Light glanced around the room, wondering if the shinigami was there, unseen. Light walked over to the suitcase and stared at the lock. It was a 7-letter combination lock. With ease, Light flipped the letters until they spelled "Lawliet." The suitcase clicked open. Nestled within the case was the dark notebook with bright white letters across the cover. Light's breath caught in his chest. All he had to do was touch it. He would regain his memories. No one would know. Light's hand hovered over the notebook. His fingers were inches from touching it. 

"Damn it." 

Light slammed the suitcase shut and turned away, running his hands through his hair in frustration. As he began to walk upstairs he nearly ran into L. The detective stared at him with a suspicious look. Of course, he hadn't really been asleep. L had perfected the art of pretending to sleep. 

"I didn't touch it," Light snapped before heading back upstairs. He glanced at L out of the corner of his eye and pretended he didn’t see the gun L tried to hide behind his back. 

As Light disappeared back upstairs, L sighed and placed the gun on the table. He felt sick. "Light Yagami was telling the truth," Rem said. "He did not touch the Death Note." 

"I know," L said. He sat in the chair at the table, perched at the front. With a frustrated sigh, he buried his face in his knees. His hands shook as he considered what he was about to do.

"He is much different now," Rem said quietly. L raised his eyes to look at her. She stared off into the distance where Light walked off to. "I'm relieved I decided to betray him." Eyes turning back to L, Rem stared at him with an emotionless look. "Would you have killed him had he touched the Death Note?"

"If he touched it Light would have already been dead," L said. He balled his hands into fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking. "Only Kira would have remained." Rem nodded and did not say anything more. 

L remained downstairs until his shaky breathing had calmed down. He stood and walked back upstairs, leaving the gun where it was as he was too disgusted with himself to touch it again. He was not surprised to see Light was still awake when he returned. As L walked in, Light's gaze flickered to him briefly before he returned to staring at the ceiling. "I'm sorry," Light said quietly. L climbed back into the bed and under the covers, pressing his whole body against Light's. He clung to him desperately, wishing they could have met in a different situation. With a small sigh, Light turned his head and kissed L before resting his head on the pillow. "I can't wait for this to all be over." 

L nodded, closing his eyes. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

As Light sat alone in the meeting room, he heard footsteps and looked up to see his father approaching him. The rest of the investigation team filed in behind him. Light caught L's eye and the two exchanged small smiles. "This will be over soon," Soichiro said as he sat beside Light. He firmly grasped his son's shoulder and smiled at him. "Then life can return to normal." Light nodded but did not say anything. His father's stern gaze softened. "I'm relieved you're not Kira." 

"I was," Light said quietly. 

Soichiro shook his head. "We don't need to talk about that Light." He pulled his hand away and leaned back in his chair. "So, what will you do after this?" Light had not revealed his intentions to leave yet. His eyes trailed over to stare at L, who was directing the Death Note search team. "I'm not surprised." Soichiro sighed. "You have always been brilliant Light. Of course, you want to continue working with the most genius detective around." With a quiet chuckle, Soichiro continued, "You have to call us from time to time." 

With a small smile, Light nodded. "I will." 

Matsuda leaned back in his chair, eyeing the two Yagamis. He said very loudly, "And invite us to your wedding!" 

As the rest of the task force laughed, Light's face paled from embarrassment. L simply smirked. He glanced back at Light and his expression softened. "Have we found it yet Ryuzaki?" Light asked, changing the subject. 

"We must be close," L replied. "I've had them excavate almost every park around this area. Now they're searching the forests." He chewed on his thumb as Light stood and walked over to him. Light rested his hand on L's shoulder and he immediately reached up to take it, holding it firm in his hand. "You were up early," L said quietly. "Did you have trouble sleeping?" Light nodded. 

"A little," He admitted quietly. A smile crossed his face as L rubbed the back of Light's hand with his thumb. It was a comforting gesture. Light grabbed one of the cookies from L's plate. "I bet the city doesn't appreciate us turning the parks upside down to find the Death Note." 

"What if a child found it?" L said. "All the city knows is that we're looking for a dangerous weapon. They'll continue to support us." With a nod, Light looked at the screens, trying to remember if any of the places looked familiar. If he was trying to hide the Death Note, he would have taken it somewhere very remote. He would not have hidden it anywhere in the city. He glanced over at the map, searching for the most remote location possible. "Here." He pointed to a forest about an hour's drive from the city. "I would have hidden it here." 

L stared at the spot on the map, before kissing Light's hand and pressing one of the intercom buttons. "Watari, redirect the current excavation team."

It would be over soon. A feeling of dread came over Light. Why was he so worried? All they had to do was destroy the two Death Notes. Then the shinigami would leave and they could go back to life as normal. Yet, something in the back of his mind warned him it wasn't that simple. There was something that they were missing.  

The team found the Death Note quickly. L wished that Light would have given his opinion on the matter earlier. Though he knew that Light did not want to give any further proof that he had been Kira. The idea obviously haunted him. It tormented him with nightmares and L wondered if Light would ever recover. Opening the box, L found a letter written to Misa. "You really had this all planned out," He mused aloud, glancing at Light. L set the letter aside and picked up the Death Note. He pushed off the table, rolling in the chair back over to the computers. 

"Does it have the rest of the names?" Soichiro asked. 

Tension filled the room as L cross-checked the dead criminals with the names in the Death Note. "It does," He said with a sigh of relief. "These are the only two Death Notes." Watari unlocked the suitcase containing the first Death Note and placed it on the table. L flipped through the Death Note in his hand, searching for the two seemingly fake rules. "It would appear we can safely destroy these." He pushed off from the desk and rolled back over to the table, tossing the other notebook on top of the first one. All the members of the investigation team besides Light touched the second notebook, then they nervously looked around. 

"Where is the second shinigami?" Matsuda asked, voice cracking. 

Laughter filled the air and L followed Rem's gaze to see another creature emerge from the darkness of the room. "How interesting," It said. "Seems like Light's plan failed." 

"Ryuk," Rem said with no hint of friendliness in her voice. 

"So you betrayed him huh?" Ryuk laughed, his eyes darting around the room. "Hey humans, why don't you get me an apple? I'm starving." 

L raised an eyebrow. "So you are the shinigami who likes apples." With a shrug, L turned to the notebooks. "It doesn't matter. We're done dealing with you." L struck a match and tossed it onto the pair of Death Notes. "You started this whole mess. If I could, I would find some way to imprison you Ryuk." 

Once again, laughter burst from the shinigami. He shook with it, leaning his head in his hand. "While this has been entertaining," He said between bursts of laughs. "I'm afraid it's not that simple human." He pulled something from his waist. It was another Death Note. 

Immediately, all of the members of the task force had their guns drawn. "What are you doing shinigami?" Soichiro demanded. "Drop it." 

Ryuk ignored them and pulled out a feather pen, flipping to a page in the Death Note. "What's happening?" Light asked, eyeing the others with a nervous stare. 

"Ryuk please don't do it," Rem said. Her voice shook with the plea. "Haven't we done enough?" She reached out to stop him, but Ryuk slapped her hand away.

"Rules are rules," Ryuk said as he wrote. Soichiro fired first, followed by the rest of the task members. Light jumped back in surprise, eyes wide as he looked to L for an explanation. "I ain't about to turn to dust for a human." 

"What are you talking about?" L demanded. 

Ryuk finished writing and with a grin, turned his Death Note around. One name was written on the fresh page. "No," L whispered, his eyes widening in horror. Soichiro let out an anguished cry, firing at the shinigami again, but there was no use. Light Yagami's name had already been written in the Death Note. 

"It's been fun," Ryuk said. "But rules are rules. I told him I would be the one to write his name in my Death Note. It's over." 

The ticking of the clock boomed through the room. Light's eyes were wide in fear as all eyes turned to him. "What's wrong?" He asked, voice cracking. "What did the shinigami do?" L's hands were shaking. Twenty seconds had passed. "L?" Light asked, before his eyes turned to Soichiro. "Dad?"

"My son," Soichiro said as tears streamed down his cheeks. 

There were only a few seconds left. L had to stop it. There must be some way to stop the Death Note. Why hadn't he asked more questions? Why didn't he demand Rem answer him? Why did Light have to die? He reached out his hand to Light right as Light's eyes widened in pain. He clutched at his chest and fell out of the chair. "Light!" L caught him, slamming to the ground with him. "No! Please no." 

Pain filled Light's expression. He writhed in agony, clutching L's hand tightly. "L," He choked out. "Not...in mine...eyes..."

Everything felt cold. All L could do was watch in horror as Light's eyes slipped shut. "Light!" L gently shook him, pleading for him to open his eyes again. "No, I can't do this. I can't be alone again." Something wet dripped down onto Light's face and L realized he was crying. It had been years since he cried. "You said you would stay by my side." L clutched Light's body close, burying his face in his hair. "Why did you lie? How could you lie to me?" With a wail of agony, L closed his eyes and sobbed, holding Light as close as he could. The warmth had already begun to fade. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me!" 

"Ryuzaki," Watari said, placing a hand on L's shoulder. 

Another sob wrecked L as he raised his eyes, searching for the pair of shinigami. They were both gone. Instead, he saw the rest of the task face, tears filling their eyes as well. L trembled, burying his face again. "This must be a nightmare," He whispered. "Please, please. Shinigami aren't real. None of this is real." 

The clock continued to tick.

It rained on the day of Light Yagami's funeral. The date fell on the anniversary of when the Kira killings began. L would have asked them to change the date had he realized earlier. It was cruel to taunt Light like that. As it was November the rain that fell was cold. It soaked L to the bone as he sat before the gravestone, knees pulled up to his chin. His eyes were empty. He knew even without looking at himself in the mirror. Unlike the others, L did not dress up for the occasion. He came as he dressed normally, without shoes and in his ratty clothes. It would have annoyed Light if he knew. L reached out and brushed his fingers over the engraving of Light's name. 

" 'Not in mine eyes alone is Paradise,' " L said softly. "I won't be able to find it without you Light." 

The rain stopped. L could no longer feel the drops hitting him, but when he raised his head and looked beyond the gravestone he could still see the drops falling. He turned and looked up to see a black umbrella held over him. "You will get ill if you continue to stay like this L," Watari said softly. 

"Please leave me be Quillish." 

The founder of Wammy's house sighed. "I have not seen you this miserable since I first found you." L did not reply. "We should return home." 

With a quiet sigh, L nodded. "Yes, you have to train Near as my successor." 

"You've chosen?" 

L closed his eyes, remembering the warmth of Light's lips against his. "I cannot continue on like this Watari. Near will not fall victim to the same flaws I have. He would not let love cloud his decisions nor would it be his ultimate undoing." Watari did not say anything. "I don't know if I will ever recover from this so he will need to begin acting as L right away." 

"As you wish." 

L reached out and traced Light's name one final time before standing to leave with Watari. He regretted ever coming to Japan to solve the Kira case. Perhaps it would have been better if he left Kira alone to create his perfect world. At the very least, L would have never had seen his own paradise slip right through his fingers. His whole world had become dark.  

"Goodbye Light." 

 

 

  

 


End file.
